Sunday, July 29, 2007
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front.
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for the purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ?
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.
In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today - no icecream.
In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
At a Budapest Zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
In a Japanese Hotel Room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
In a Bucharest Hotel Lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig Elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade Hotel Elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In the Lobby of a Moscow Hotel Across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
On the Menu of a Swiss Restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
On the Menu of a Polish Hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup" with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.
In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Friday, July 20, 2007
The video for this song actually isn't original; it wasn't made for this song that is - it's an Academy Award nominated short film made almost 10 years ago, I remember watching it as a kid. It's called "More" by Mark Osborne, you can check it out on IMDB.
WATCH it. Then if you don't understand it, highlight the text under here.
The message of this video and song is that happiness comes from inside you, not material things, and that is what makes the world around you not so bleak, but when you rely on material things to make yourself happy, you lose that happiness inside of you.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
When a romance doesn't work out we're often put into this state of angst, rehashing what was said, the if's, the maybe's, the goods and the bads. Perhaps the most potent of these is the "missing" we feel for that lost person. How will they remember us? How should we remember them? What could have been done differently, that may have led to a different outcome. The deeper we are able to feel in life, the harder this is. It does not get easier.
But lately, I have realized this "missing" feeling is always the same. Do I really miss him? No, I don't. I miss "it". That elusive, happy feeling we have when we begin to hope again. Different scenarios, but the same feeling, as I turn over another page in my book, and wait for "it" to arrive.
Similarly, I've remembered that simple concerns such as kindness, comfort, compassion, and consideration should not be the exception, rather than the rule. Just as important as knowing yourself is knowing others, and understanding that your connections with them can only grow, change and become beautiful from your flexibility in working with them. Not against them.
In reality, there is no ultimate ruler. There is only compromise.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Sunday, July 08, 2007
I Need to Go Bathe in Urine Now
Bus driver on intercom as it starts to rain: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey... C'mon, everybody!
Entire bus, singing: You'll never know, dear, how much I love you -- please don't take my sunshine away.
Chick: I think that was the least-New York moment of my entire life.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
The spoof band - stars of Christopher Gest's seminal rock'n'roll satire 'This Is Spinal Tap' - staged the one-off show for Al Gore's environmental benefit.
Comdeian and Tap fan Ricky Gervais echoed his controversial comments from Live 8 two years ago, saying of today's event, "If this doesn't save the Earth, I don't know what will", and making references to the number of private jets that had been used to bring artists to and from the event.
Gervais then welcomed to the stage director Rob Reiner, posing as band manager Marty DiBurghi, who introduced the band as "the loudest and most punctual band on Earth, this is Spinal Tap!".
The veteran rockers then ploughed through three of their 'hits' beginning with 'Stonehenge', as model pieces of Stonehenge itself were wheeled and dangled on and off the stage on wires.
However the real centrepiece of the performance came before the closing 'Big Bottom', before which 'David St Hubbins' introduced "every bass player in the known universe...".
Joining the band were Foo Fighters' Nate Mendell, Metallica's Kirk Hammett, Bloc Party's Gordon Moakes and Madonna's bass player and producer Stuart Price.
However, Metallica frontman James Hetfield and the entire Beastie Boys also made it onto the stage to join in the fun.
Spinal Tap played:
'Warmer Than Hell'
Live Earth continues in London with James Blunt on next, and performances coming from Beastie Boys and Madonna among others.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
“Later, I got thinking about safe sex. Odd how only when our physical life is at risk, do we follow certain guidelines to protect ourselves. What about our emotional lives? Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a little pamphlet to warn us what behavior might be high risk to ourselves or our relationships? Even if you take all the precautions and emotionally try to protect yourself, when you crawl in bed with someone, is sex ever safe?”