United Airlines employee on PA: Okay, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to use the last-one-on-is-a-rotten-egg method of boarding here.
--LaGuardia
Overheard by: Hour-and-a-Half Delayed
Pilot, as the seatbelt sign goes off: All rise.
--Airtran flight from Atlanta to LaGuardia
Overheard by: Debbie Kate
Smart Stays with You, Sweetie
Mother: You're so pretty.
Four-year-old daughter, stomping: Don't call me pretty! I need to be smart and pretty!
Mother: Okay, you're smart.
Four-year-old daughter, crying: Nooo! Mom! Don't just say 'smart.' Say 'smart and pretty.' It needs to be both! I can't just be smart! Smart and pretty, together!
--Park Ave South
Overheard in New York
We Could Always Put on Miniskirts, Go to Times Square, and Test My Theory
European girl: My mother is from Norway and my father is from Ireland.
Chinese girl: I'm purebred. If humans sold like puppies, I'd sell for way more than you.
--Chelsea
Overheard in New York
Which Probably Means I'm Your Biological Father after All
Five-year-old boy: Daddy, why is Mommy crying?
Unemotional father: Son, your mother is crying because you are an asshole.
--1 train
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