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BE BEAUTIFUL ON THE INSIDE

How to Act Crazy

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You never know what situation might call for you to act completely wild. Maybe you need a day off, or maybe your relationship is bad and you need an out. Whether you're acting for stage or film, or just acting for the effect, here's how to pull off looking crazy without actually going nuts.

Steps

1. Always reply, no matter what you have just done, that you are "okay" or "fine." Repeating this over and over at various volumes of voice can really enhance your effect. Never say "I feel crazy." That is a dead giveaway.
2. Be subtle. Don't overdo it. Instead of screaming swear words at people and claiming to be "seeing" things, maybe talk in a low whisper and look at "someone" next to you who isn't there. Imagine that the person is 2 feet tall and blue with green polka dots--but never reveal that.
3. Pick a theme. If you are all over the place, anyone with a minimum amount of education will be able to discern that you are acting out too many diagnosable maladies, outing you instantly. Pick one central theme and stick with it - people are after you or talking about you, or you are capable of some superhuman ability (e.g. hearing thoughts, seeing pictures in dogs' minds, reading the future using alphabet soup). Keep it consistent and again, subtle. Don't go overboard or be comedic.
4. Don't appear harmful. This is important. Don't threaten yourself, nor anyone else. Should superhuman ability be part of your "psychosis," make it be super speed or smell; flying will only make people think you're a jumper. Anything you do that violates this rule can get you locked up; you don't want that--it's a bad way to spend your free time.
5. Avoid using any psychological terms. Don't say words like psychosis or delusion because - let's face it - if you have a clear understanding of those afflictions - you're probably not afflicted by them. Although, some mentally ill individuals may know what these terms are, they are usually are in treatment and on medication, therefore, stable, which is something you want to avoid when acting crazy.
6. Wait for the desired effect. Don't make it apparent that you want to go home or need something for what is going on with you. If you are doing a good job, what you want will be suggested in due time. You will know this is happening when someone says "Do you need to lie down?" or "Maybe you should head home for the day."
7. Practice. You'll feel silly, but crazy practice does make crazy perfect. You can do it in a few ways, at home in front of the mirror, or out in untested public - just make sure it's not the environment you plan on being 'crazy' in when you go to do it for real.
   
   
   • At home, find an area of your body that you have never had to itch. Now, scratch it. Now, look off and upwards in a random direction and scratch that part of your body like a flea was biting it. Now stop suddenly and remain motionless.
   • Next, practice looking at objects nearby like they had said something either a) evil about your mother, or b) terrifying. When you look at the object, cast your glance at it like you were looking directly, but actually look at something 5 or 6 feet behind it. Do this several times.
8. Be creative and research. A good "crazy" has many aspects to it, and when they come to you at random and in high frequency, you will find yourself able to fit the role of insane quickly and comfortably. Plenty of TV shows and movies are great resources to get new ideas from.
9. Use caution. When the time comes to be serious, do it. What you do want is the ability to "act crazy." What you don't want is to actually be crazy. And just in case the situation doesn't go as you expected, you want to still be able to get it together and reassure someone that you were just fooling around. See the Warnings below.
10. Know when to use your new found power. Someone asking for your wallet? Not a bad time to mumble under your breath about drinking the urine with just a little blood mixed in. A cop asking for your license? Give him your license and keep crazy under wraps.

i do not work too much

" They say the #1 killer of old people is retirement. People got'em a job to do, they tend to live a little longer so they can do it." -Kill Bill
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cake overload

My 27th has arrived. I am not the person I thought I'd be. In some ways I am more, in others I am less, but either way I am content.

One of my all time favorite books

"Running With Scissors" by Augusten Burroughs has been turned into a movie. Watch the Trailer here
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Maneater vs. Somebody Told Me

listen to and love this synthesis of the killers classic.

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You Are A Martini

You are the kind of drinker who appreciates a nice hard drink. And for you, only quality alcohol. You don't waste your time on the cheap stuff. Obviously, you're usually found with a martini in your hand. But sometimes you mix it up with a gin and tonic. And you'd never, ever consider one of those flavored martinis. They're hardly a drink! Take the quiz

these are the days i crave all year. window open, dusk, smell of someone's fireplace drifting in.
i smell rain coming leaves falling
the air is shifting, cooling towards another season.

work featured on BBC

Anticipation 'boosts bad memory'

Volunteers had their brains scanned

Anticipating a gruesome or traumatic event makes it more vivid and deeply imprinted in the memory, a study says.

Researchers found if people were aware something was going to happen, a key memory-forming part of the brain fired.

The University of Wisconsin-Madison said the findings may have implications in the treatment of conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder.

The study, based on 36 people, is published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences journal.

click to read the rest of the study done in our lab.

warning: grey's anatomy season 3 spoilers

how to save a life

artist: The Fray
title: How To Save A Life

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Valeze - Search and Destroy

Iggy Pop's '70s hit classic punk song "Search and Destroy" got a facelift recently from Chick-fronted Brooklyn Electro-Rock band, Valeze.

September 11

In commendation of the day our country meant something.
when people focused on surviving and helping and healing
and crying never forgetting that they have seen the worst of humanity,
and the best of humanity.

Bob Dylan - When The Deal Goes Down

Simple and original, also starring Scarlett. Dylan tops the charts with #1 from Modern Times.

first art post: paris, 1998

one of my first paintings. watercolor on white board, circa 1998

My favorite actress has given me a cameo: second to last line

Well Played: Scarlett Johansson

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"Yesterday, we expressed displeasure for Scarlett Johansson's choice of activewear at the Venice Film Festival. So we were delighted to see that when she changed for the premiere of her film The Black Dahlia, she went with something we were far less likely to be found between the covers of Land's End.

She's switched to a red lip, but it's a rich, dark one, rather than a bright, knock-you-backwards red that rarely works unless if a bunch of really hot firemen are adjacent to it.

And the dress is actually really interesting -- it's not something that would ever have attracted me personally, yet I think Scarlett looks smashing in it. The cut and the fit combine to create a very sleek and tall figure indeed; the cinched waist gives the illusion that her legs go on for days. And with her new hair and her healthy (and natural-looking, miracle of miracles) skin color and tone don't allow themselves to be washed out or overshadowed by the pale fabric hue. If, say, Nicole Kidman wore this, she'd disappear and/or risk looking sickly, but on ScarJo the gown isn't wearing her -- she is wearing the hell out of the gown.

In all, it's very old-movie chic, a welcome dash of Deborah Kerr in this day and age.

Now I need to go wash the good cheer off my hands."

MORE SCARLETT: STARRING IN BOB DYLAN'S NEW VIDEO